tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58662722011-12-15T11:46:50.029+09:00.. a serving of life's spiciest condiments... and it's healthy too.Lnrnoreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-10126459159605181282009-05-20T00:17:00.000+09:002009-05-20T00:18:37.224+09:00

Management is easy to understand, if you wish to understand. .Lesson 1A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'After thinking for a

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-77925785232089250792008-07-11T06:35:00.001+09:002008-07-11T06:35:41.549+09:00

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you."Customer: "Hello, I'd like to place and order?" Operator: "Can I have your multipurpose card number first, Sir?" Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......on. .....88986135610 2049998-45- 54610." Operator: "OK, you're Mr. Patel... and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home phone number is 409-2366, your office phone is

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-912037233865623942008-06-26T23:56:00.000+09:002008-06-26T23:57:36.645+09:00

We always hear ' the rules'From the female side.. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!Please note.. these are all numbered '1 'ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers.1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday sports It's like

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-281844130694316692008-01-15T00:26:00.000+09:002008-01-15T00:27:52.928+09:00

Dear All,My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-89768078618011635882007-08-15T11:37:00.000+09:002007-08-15T11:39:07.628+09:00

A story of love....We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-52707438617076908242007-04-03T05:07:00.000+09:002007-04-03T05:08:42.470+09:00

WEDDING COLORSAttending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to hermother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiestday of her life."The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is thegroom wearing black?"DON'T LET ME BE LATEA little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as shecould,

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-26688007864400530952006-11-25T11:45:00.000+09:002006-11-25T11:46:52.004+09:00

Forwarded text message:"Dare what it takes to be. Then we shall so because it is. To do or not, now or what else to be without." - Words of wisdom from Lito Lapid. Ikaw na lang umintindi.

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-47673740416485884292006-11-24T04:58:00.000+09:002006-11-24T05:03:58.808+09:00

"pinapaikot mo lang akoNagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako" - electric fan"hindi lahat ng walang salawal ay bastos" - winnie d' pooh"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sa yo. pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo" - ipis"Hala! sige magpakasasa ka!Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo." - hipon"Ayoko na! pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang maraming tao ang nagagalit

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1153903972667317102006-07-26T17:52:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.832+09:00

1. "The more the manyer."2. "It's a no-win-win situation."3. "Burn the bridge when you get there."4. "Anulled and void."5. "Mute and academic."6. "C'mon let's join us!"7. "If worse comes to shove."8. "Are you joking my leg?"9. "It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."10. "What are friends are for?"11. "You can never can tell."12. "Well well well. Look do we have here!"13. "Let's

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1153204258272456762006-07-18T15:30:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.766+09:00

Mga kasabihang binago ng panahon... :) Ang taong nagigipit...sa bumbay kumakapitPag may usok...may nag-iihawDont judge the book by its cover... if u are not a judge or else you will cover the book!Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.No guts, no glory... no ID, no entryBirds of the same feather that prays together... stays together. Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukotAng

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1153127524774950962006-07-17T18:12:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.698+09:00

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1152598648850201642006-07-11T15:11:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.616+09:00

As seen in a dog's diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite! 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite! 8 pm - Oh

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1132121520802041982005-11-16T15:10:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.531+09:00

FINEThis is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.FIVE MINUTESIf she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.NOTHINGThis is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1132121381082375852005-11-16T15:04:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.453+09:00

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.The president of the Bank asked her how much

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1127474119594778282005-09-23T20:15:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.374+09:00

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARYAs I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane, said, "Good morning boss. Happy Birthday."And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. Iworked until noon. Then, Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday. Let'sgo to lunch, just you and me."I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1127473506820162072005-09-23T20:05:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.292+09:00

A store that sells wives has just opened where a manmay go to choosea wife from among many women. The store is composed of6 floors, and thewomen increase in positive attributes as the shopperascends the flights.There is, however, a catch. As you open the door toany floor you maychoose a woman from that floor, but if you go up afloor, you cannot go backdown except to exit the building.So a man

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1122630480524149932005-07-29T18:48:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.207+09:00

MARRYING AN ACCONTANTWhen I told my parents I wanted a professional as my wife, they got me one; a Certified Public Accountants.She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food. She thinks I am no good at figure work. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house. Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I told her that I am not her client but her

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1099445801593369412004-11-03T10:36:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.135+09:00

El Vaquero (The Mexican Cowboy) and his Chihuahua, Chilito, are camping in the desert. He sets up their tent and both are soon asleep. Some hours later, El Vaquero wakes his faithful friend. "Chilito, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Chilito replies, "I see millions of stars, senor." "What does that tell you?" asks El Vaquero. Chilito ponders for a minute. "Astronomically

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1099445753698634032004-11-03T10:33:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:11.068+09:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1079690066597298322004-03-19T18:54:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.987+09:00

> Cory Aquino watches "Mano Po 2" everyday and cries everytime... Dito lang kasi niya nakita na ikinasal si Kris! > > Bakit sa Pilipinas kung mag-aaply ka ng clerk kailangan college graduate ka, pero kung mag-aaply ka for president, high school drop-out ok na? Just curious ha.. bakit??? > > Noong araw, ERAP na ERAP na. > Ngayon ARROY, AROY!, > wag na POE, wag na POE. > Baka maLACSON

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1072510338539365132003-12-27T16:32:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.914+09:00

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. > > ~~~Bonus Question~~~ > > Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1069407993522017882003-11-21T18:46:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.848+09:00

most of these are applicablefor the ladies.... > > >1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you". > >2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing". > >3. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up" > >4. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?" > >5. " Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after." > >6. " Do I look like a people person?" > >7. "This isn't an office. It's hell with

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064642224212049882003-09-27T14:57:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.782+09:00

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN. 2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE. 3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT FRIES WITH THAT. 4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN". 5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-106464212742108972003-09-27T14:55:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.075+09:00

Try this out > It actually works,unbelievable! > ------------------------------------------ > > This has been a great step by the Immigration > services of all countries joining together. > After September 11 attacks, all world has > gone paranoid about security and in this wake , > they have now maintained a centralized database > of passports issued and carried by citizens. It > is

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064642027950028592003-09-27T14:53:00.001+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.712+09:00

Question : What is the height of globalization? Answer : Princess Diana's death. Question : How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641995487548752003-09-27T14:53:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.645+09:00

One night a mugger jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun: The Mugger : "Give me your money!" The Victim : "You can't do this. I am a senator!" The Mugger :"In that case, give me MY money!" ************************************ A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. Wife : "Why don't you do that?"

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641961489968322003-09-27T14:52:00.001+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.578+09:00

> > > > A man was sick and tired of going to work every > day while his wife stayed > home. He wanted her to see what he went through > so he prayed: > >"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in > 8 hours while my wife Merel > stays at home. I want her to know what I go > through, so please allow her > body to switch with mine for a day. Amen." > >God, in his infinite wisdom, granted

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641931686419852003-09-27T14:52:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.506+09:00

An Irishman in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. He then looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him. The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth,

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641896719052402003-09-27T14:51:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.439+09:00

> > Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. > > You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. > > OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are. > > Ready? > > GO!!!( scroll down) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > First Question: > You are participating in a race. > You overtake the second person. > What position are you in? >

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641850476622262003-09-27T14:50:00.001+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.361+09:00

>> >> > >> > >> > Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother >> > was making dinner. His birthday was coming >> > up and he thought this was a good time to tell >> > his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike >> > for my birthday." >> > >> > Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. >> > He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. >> > Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he >> >

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641807287047552003-09-27T14:50:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.298+09:00

>> > >In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error >messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction >rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the >first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haiku is used to >communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and >powerful insight

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064641513072022012003-09-27T14:45:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.222+09:00

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks." So they entered heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter

Lnrnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866272.post-1064636641377536412003-09-27T13:24:00.000+09:002006-10-12T06:53:10.147+09:00

> > These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, > and are things people actually said in court, word > for word, taken down and now published by court > reporters - who had the torment of staying calm > while these exchanges were actually taking place. > > Q: Are you sexually active? > A: No, I just lie there. > > Q: What is your date of birth? > A: July fifteenth. > Q: What year? > A:

Lnrnoreply@blogger.com