Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get
there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step
on
the ducks." So they entered heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all
over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although
they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on
one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains
them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along
comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly
man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages
to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up
to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on very tall,
tanned and muscular. St. Peter chains them together and leaves without
saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for
all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a
duck."



Women's Lib International Conference

The first speaker, a lady from England stood up and
said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about
being more assertive with our husbands.
Well, after the conference, I went home and told my
husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for
him and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I
saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had
cooked a wonderful roast Lamb." (The crowd cheered).

The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said,
"After last year's conference, I went home and told my
husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do
his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.
The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I
saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had
done not only his own washing, mine as well.(The crowd
again cheered).

The third speaker, a Filipino lady from Visayas, stood
up and said, "Aftir lass year's kampirince, I win
hum(went home) and tuld dat lazy husband op mines,
Pidro, dat I was tro getting his slippers, kuking his
meals ol da tim, washing his undiwir and dat he was
guing to hab to do dem himsilf.(The crowd went wild
with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long
minutes). She continued,"Aftir da first day, I see
nating. Aftir da secun day,agin I see nating, but
aftir da tird day, I could see a little bit out
of my leff eye."