Customer Services in 2018

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you."

Customer: "Hello, I'd like to place and order?"

Operator: "Can I have your multipurpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold.......on. .....88986135610 2049998-45- 54610."

Operator: "OK, you're Mr. Patel... and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home phone number is 409-2366, your office phone is 764-5230 and your mobile is 414-266-2566. Which number are you calling from now, Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my numbers?"

Operator: "We are connected to the system, Sir."

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza?"

Operator: "That's NOT a good idea, Sir."

Customer: "How come?"

Operator: "Well, according to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it."

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week, Sir."

Customer: "OK, I give up... Give me three family-size ones then. How much will that cost?"

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late-payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives."

Operator: "No, you can't do that, Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today."

Customer: "Never mind, just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes, Sir. But if you can't wait, you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...."

Customer: " What?!"

Operator: "According to the details in the system, Sir, you own a Scooter with registration number 1123...."

Customer: " ????"

Operator: "Is there anything else, Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing! By the way, are you giving me the 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic. So...."

Customer: "So what... #$$^%&$@$%"

Operator: "Better watch your language, Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987, you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman?"