election funnies

> Cory Aquino watches "Mano Po 2" everyday and cries everytime... Dito lang
kasi niya nakita na ikinasal si Kris!
>
> Bakit sa Pilipinas kung mag-aaply ka ng clerk kailangan college graduate
ka, pero kung mag-aaply ka for president, high school drop-out ok na? Just
curious ha.. bakit???
>
> Noong araw, ERAP na ERAP na.
> Ngayon ARROY, AROY!,
> wag na POE, wag na POE.
> Baka maLACSON ang KABAYAN natin
> at magka ROCCO ROCCO ang buhay natin.
>
> GMA: Economic mind
> ROCO: academic mind
> EDDIE: Godly mind
> LOREN: changeable mind
> NOLI: no mind
> PING: mastermind
> FPJ: Never mind!
>
> Lights, camera, action!
> Starring FPJ
> Directed by ERAP
> Script by ED ANGARA
> Produced by DANDING COJUANGCO
> Sa pelikulang, "BAYAN KO, TODAS KA!"
>
> Presidentiables have records:
> GMA: D Pidal case
> ROCCO has textbook scam
> LACSON has kuratong baleleng
> Only FPJ has no records - not even school records! Nanay ko po!
>
> Lineup 2004 tandem:
> GMA/Flavier - Ang Pantay!
> Lacson/Sotto - Ang Lagay!
> Erap/FPJ - Ang Tagay!
> Maceda/Osmena - Ang Taray!
>
> FPJ victory is the solution to traffic problem! Dami close negosyo, Pinoy
migrate Dami mall sara! So konti tao kalye. WALA NA TRAFFIC!!!FPJ ka na??
>
> Please answer honestly.
> If you were to choose between FPJ or Ping, which country would you migrate
to?
>
> FPJ vowed that once elected he would change the Lower House and Upper
House. He wants them to be called ORCHESTRA & BALCONY!
>
> Philippine Airlines will be taken from Lucio Tan and will be given to Sen.
Angara if FPJ wins. It will be called, ANGARA-PAL!
>
> Breaking news:
> Paquito Diaz recruited by Lakas to be GMA's running mate. Napili siya kasi
siya lang ang madalas makagulpi kay FPJ.
>
> Makit Chinese lang palati kidnap? Kasi pak Pinoy 4 gives, pak Bombay 5/6.
Pak Amelikano cledit cald, pelo pak Chinese sigulado C.O.D., wala pa issue
lesibo, bigay ka pa legalo!