MARRYING AN ACCONTANT
MARRYING AN ACCONTANT
When I told my parents I wanted a professional as my wife, they got me
one; a Certified Public Accountants.
She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food. She thinks
I am no good at figure work.
Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house. Initially
she used to send me a bill at the month end,
but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she ask
for money in advance.
The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I
snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.
No wonder! She was charging overtime and conveyance to the house
budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me.
No my darling, I am the auditor. I fail to see the light. Every scrap
of paper in our house is filed.
She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing
for at least ten years before destroying it.
I am worried. The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got it!
Oh know,
that she had charged the hour to the client of hers, in the time sheet.
My time was put down as unoccupied.
She says she loves me and Ill tell her that I love her too. However,
she never believes me.
She says that there is a susceptibility of it being a misstatement.
Duh!!! She wants my representation on this!
Last year our house accounts got a qualified opinion, I had not kept
the supporting etc. of my purchases.
Not a long time back my brothers wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding
cards had been sent. After some time,
I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was puzzled until my
wife was explained that external evidence was more reliable.
She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were
sent.
When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the
recipe says add half-teaspoon vinegar,
one tsp black salt or one teacup of water, she ignore them.
She says they are not material when taken in context of whole meal
being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you.
Surprisingly, everybody calls her an auditor, instead. I checked the
dictionary and it did not state that auditor is synonym for crazy.
The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me
an engagement letter and I had said
how cute, how sweet Now she gives it to me every year saying that her
standards states
that it must be sent a new if there is any indication that I have
misunderstood the objective and scope of the engagement. Huh!
Apart from sending me an engagement letter once again she says I cant
get rid off her just like that.
She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint someone
else.
It seems I must keep reading a local and another English newspaper
published and circulated in the vicinity of our house for more details.
Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern
status. Duh! Dare I say so??
I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CPA that
the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CPA.
Apparently he capitalized the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses
and is writing it off every year.
Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still
under consideration for valuation under SFAS/IAS 38 valuation of
Intangible Asset. So guyz please think twice should you really marry a CPA?
And Yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the
present value of the risk of doing so!!!
When I told my parents I wanted a professional as my wife, they got me
one; a Certified Public Accountants.
She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food. She thinks
I am no good at figure work.
Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house. Initially
she used to send me a bill at the month end,
but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she ask
for money in advance.
The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I
snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.
No wonder! She was charging overtime and conveyance to the house
budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me.
No my darling, I am the auditor. I fail to see the light. Every scrap
of paper in our house is filed.
She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing
for at least ten years before destroying it.
I am worried. The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got it!
Oh know,
that she had charged the hour to the client of hers, in the time sheet.
My time was put down as unoccupied.
She says she loves me and Ill tell her that I love her too. However,
she never believes me.
She says that there is a susceptibility of it being a misstatement.
Duh!!! She wants my representation on this!
Last year our house accounts got a qualified opinion, I had not kept
the supporting etc. of my purchases.
Not a long time back my brothers wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding
cards had been sent. After some time,
I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was puzzled until my
wife was explained that external evidence was more reliable.
She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were
sent.
When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the
recipe says add half-teaspoon vinegar,
one tsp black salt or one teacup of water, she ignore them.
She says they are not material when taken in context of whole meal
being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you.
Surprisingly, everybody calls her an auditor, instead. I checked the
dictionary and it did not state that auditor is synonym for crazy.
The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me
an engagement letter and I had said
how cute, how sweet Now she gives it to me every year saying that her
standards states
that it must be sent a new if there is any indication that I have
misunderstood the objective and scope of the engagement. Huh!
Apart from sending me an engagement letter once again she says I cant
get rid off her just like that.
She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint someone
else.
It seems I must keep reading a local and another English newspaper
published and circulated in the vicinity of our house for more details.
Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern
status. Duh! Dare I say so??
I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CPA that
the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CPA.
Apparently he capitalized the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses
and is writing it off every year.
Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still
under consideration for valuation under SFAS/IAS 38 valuation of
Intangible Asset. So guyz please think twice should you really marry a CPA?
And Yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the
present value of the risk of doing so!!!
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posted by findingsupergirl @ 6:48 PM
